Fundraising

I’ve been thinking a bit about how much I don’t like fundraising. It is tough, a lot of work, a little embarrassing and stressful.  I know some people think it is terrible … but I promised myself a long time ago that I would swallow my pride and do just about anything that I could to give P the best life that I could.  I try to remember that I am not supposed to care about what mean people think anyway and I thank God for enthusiastic friends and family who have had my back from the start.

I think I do a decent job of putting on a brave face but make no mistake … this is hard.  To try to describe how hard would be impossible.  I have heard the phrase, “I could not imagine” a lot but unless you have lived this, you really can’t.   My heart is re-broken on a daily basis and I struggle just to make it through a lot of days.   It's physically and emotionally isolating ... life has changed drastically.

 

I worry about the present …. Laying up at night wondering how Paul will ever make it through a traumatic hip surgery or going to school. I relive stares and looks of pity and an occasion rude comment. I have long text conversations with some other SN warrior moms about the safety of medications and how long its been since our kids have pooped.  

I worry about the future … If something happens to me will Paul think I abandoned him.  Will somebody take care of him or will he end up in some disgusting Medicaid facility.   These are the thoughts that make my throat close up and make my insides shake.  I do my best to put on smile on and face the day but sometimes, it is just not possible.

I think about what the whole No Limits theme what it actually means to me because clearly, my child is intensely limited in many, many ways.  

But, my love, my love has no limits.  My hope and my faith have no boundaries.  I love Paul in a way I have never loved anyone before and probably will never love anyone again and I appreciate every single person who has so generously given to help make his life a little easier.   We are so blessed and thankful for each of you.  

 

To register for the walk or to donate ... visit www.nolimitscp.com

One look into those beautiful brown eyes and I know its worth it.