feeling blue ...

So, I recently experienced a couple of weeks of pretty good depression when I was just awful to be around and was fairly terrible to a lot of people that I love … my husband especially. That man has always taken a lot of crap from me over the years but never as much as I have given him lately. Sometimes, I wouldn't blame him if he didn't like me very much but he keeps insisting that he loves me no matter what. =) I know that the major culprit to the depression is my shear exhaustion but there is also this profound feeling of loneliness.I do not want to leave the real world and only to exist this bubble of special needs but I feel myself slipping further and further in. My life revolves around therapy, neurologist, neonatologist, ENT’s, sleep studies, EEGs, MRI's, adaptive equipment, tube feedings, vomit, pharmacy trips, medicine dispensing, head measurements, growth charts, reflux, muscle tone, visual fields, sensory integration …. Then you throw 3 other kids into the mix …you get the picture … I don’t have much time for myself.The only people that “get it” are those in the same situation as we are. It is sad to see my friends become my FB friends …. there is a difference …. And some of my FB friends become essential to my survival. No blame, no pointing fingers but I do look forward to the day where I can slowly emerge into a life with some balance between both worlds. take this as a poor Andrea post … nothing I canPLEASE don’t ’t stand more that people feeling pity for us … No thank you ... we are generally happy and surrounded by love …Paul is amazing and we feel God's presence all around us …. This is just the way it is right now and this blog is sort of like therapy and a place to let out some emotion. Phew … feeling much better already … XO